I am not a gardener. I do not have a green thumb! I recently planted some flowers with my daughter in the front yard and she has been waiting and waiting for them to grow. I think she’s going to be waiting a long time….poor girl! 🙁 I haven’t really done anything to check on them and I don’t even know if I did what was necessary in the first place to give them a good chance to grow! Eek!
I have to be honest, sometimes I can treat my Marriage that way. I start to get lazy and expect my husband to do all the gardening himself. I’m so busy looking at the weeds and things I think he should be working on and I’m left feeling like we have lost touch and that we are becoming distant. I’m longing for something to change. I want something deeper and intimate, yet I’m not doing anything about it.
I have learned that a lot of times (okay let’s be honest, most of the time) that it’s my attitude growing weeds of discontentment and covetousness that is at the root of the problem. Quite plainly, I’m just feeling sorry for myself.
If not constantly tended to, the ole’ attitude can quickly start to grow weeds to separate, distract, and take the lovely nutrients away that your relationships bring you. With your new weedy attitude you start doing less and expecting more. With your new weedy outlook on things, you start to feel like you are being hurt and ignored.
Whenever I feel like I’m being neglected, I start to wonder if maybe it’s the repercussions from me neglecting somebody else? Perhaps I am feeling this way because I have been neglecting my relationship with my Lord God and King.
Last Wednesday night at Bible study the Preacher said something that goes with that thought. When you pray (you are praying, right?), have you thought about asking God how his day was? How he is doing?
That kind of hit home for me. If I’m feeling neglected, I wonder how I make God feel when I neglect him?
Maybe what I’m longing for and missing, is indeed the exact thing that I’ve been doing to someone else!
You know how sometimes your spouse, family member, or friend can frustrate you? You know how that child of yours can get on your nerve for not doing what you’ve asked them to do for the millionth time? Have you ever thought about that maybe that is the exact way you can make God feel? What about not just frustrated or annoyed? What about grieved? What about angry?!
When I think of the way my actions affect and hurt God, that really makes me pause and reevaluate my attitude. He has done everything for me and I don’t deserve Him in the slightest. He deserves so much more love, respect, and attention than I give him. Who am I to feel sorry for myself for petty little things while I am neglecting my relationship with my Lord?
He is only as far off as I make him. He is right there waiting for me to tend my relationship with him.
With my attitude in check I start to take care of the weeds that I’ve let grow and separate us. I realize just how good I have it! My path is a little clearer for me to see what other areas I need to clean up in my life.
I love the saying, “A good marriage is made of of two very good forgivers”, because it’s so true. My husband is the most forgiving person I know. I definitely need to learn from him and be more like him. That poor guy has to deal with his “Weedy Wife” quite a lot. ( I’m not very good at gardening, remember?! 😉 )
While we both have areas of our garden that we need to work on, I need to focus on my side more than focusing on his. At the same time I need to focus less on my feelings, and focus more on my Lord’s.
When relationships are tended to and cared for in the way they should be, God being first, your attitude is refreshed and and you can see clearer to tend to what you need to. That doesn’t mean that you won’t get pricked by a thorn here and there, but it does mean that He will be your companion to keep you company and to guide you along the way.
So! Pull those weeds of laziness! Take the pruners to that discontentment! Chop down that self pity with an axe! Get the chainsaw out if you have to!!! It’s time to clean up that attitude so we can focus better on our relationships to nurture them to bloom and grow!
Don’t forget to ask yourself occasionally… “Are my weeds showing?”