Dear new Momma, Here is What You’re in For…

Dear New Momma,

Becoming a Mother is a big life change!  So as a Mother of 2, I want to talk to you a little bit about what you’re in fo-  hold on, be right back, gotta take a kid potty……….

Ok, I’m back!  Now, what was I saying?  For the life of me I can’t remem— Oh yeah!  I want to share with you a little sneak peak into what you are in for in this new journey of Motherhood!

Well in case you can’t already tell, you’re headed towards the

Direction of distraction!

Lots and LOTS of distraction.  You will drop everything you’re doing- even if it means potentially burning the macaroni- to stop the pee pee dance you see happening in the other room before something else starts dancing down those little legs onto your floor.  Your Mommy senses start tingling.  You lean outside the bathroom door to see that you’re second child is indeed up to no good and is standing on top of the bar height kitchen table!  You run to the rescue!

Then you hear it.

You hear the word that is the best word in the world -unless that word is being screamed in sheer terror.  The word is “MOMMY!!!”  You run as quickly as you can to the opposite side of the house in a panic!  Dodging and jumping over all of the toys scattered on the floor to find….. that your daughter’s hair is just stuck in the Christmas lights on her play kitchen….

-the macaroni is now burnt.  But you thank the Lord that it wasn’t a broken limb!

When you do get the luxury of being around other adults, you will find that you are no longer able to have full, complete, normal adult conversations without being distracted by your little hooligans who are running full speed around every sharp corner and near every breakable object before they destroy themselves or something else.

Everything you once did will now take double the amount of time and you will not be able to sit down and do anything completely all the way through.  Just wait, you’ll see.

We all know that children are a blessing and a gift, but what you didn’t realize is that with becoming a Mother you have been bestowed another little gift.

The gift of Mom Brain.

Or, if you’re like me, you’ve realized that it’s not really much of a gift at all.  In fact it’s quite the opposite.  It’s a most vicious and cruel disease.  A disease that makes the next sentence you were going to say in a conversation completely vanish into thin air!  Your mental stability, gone.  Like gone gone.  Completely just…well…….KABOOM!!! POW!!! POOF!!!

You now put the milk in the cupboard and leave the eggs on the counter wondering where they went when you look in the fridge in the morning.

Goodbye intelligent conversations!  Goodbye sharp memory!  Heck, goodbye just normal brain waves, and hellooo Mom Brain!  Just accept it and embrace it.  It is the new you.

With a new Baby comes new STUFF.

Lots and lots of stuff!  With babies come an enormous amounts of baby things.  Completely useless things that we all probably don’t even need but alas, your house will be full of it.

Even things you promised yourself you would never have.  Like annoying electronic plastic toys or anything with licensed characters on it….

When you see those big beautiful eyes and that toothy little smile you melt like butter in a hot frying pan and realize that you don’t even stand a chance.

Children are the best at making you eat every. single. word. you ever muttered before you actually were a parent.

You will develop a severe hate for car seats.

From bucket seats to convertible seats, those nasty little buckles will laugh at you and not go together right and hide under your child’s rear making it impossible for you to reach them while your child is screaming in your face because you may have overestimated and lifted them up too far and you may or may not have knocked their head off the top of the car trying to get them in said stupid car seat….  Sorry sweetheart.

They are just so big and bulky!  But you are thankful for them and will spend way too much money on the best and most plush ones you can find for your precious little baby’s bum.

As your children get older and they are able to start following you around, well you can just

Say goodbye to privacy!

You may not realize now, but you going potty is the single, most fantastically fabulous thing they could ever be apart of!  I bet you didn’t know the bathroom is the most glorious and magical room in the house!

Rest assured that if you dare to try to go potty all by yourself by locking them out of that glorious room- no matter how stinky it is- a full melt is sure to ensue if you do not share your potty going experience with them.  Just take my advice and let them in.

After all, look at the positive side.  You can use it as a teaching moment right?  Never too early to start preparing them for potty training!

Since you no longer have any privacy,

You will develop a complete set of Mommy Ninja skills.

This comes with time and practice.  Trust me when I tell you that you will want to develop the skill of silently opening up anything crinkly sounding very quickly.  Otherwise you will hear the thundering sound of little feet running your way and will have to forfeit your blessed snack.

Unless you are fortunate to have the critical skill of shoving the entire thing in your mouth in enough time so that when they ask “Mommy, what are you eating!?” you can reply “Nuffing!”

That little stunt won’t last for long though.  Soon they will be onto your chipmunk cheeks and not believe you so easily!  Enjoy it while you can.

With all of the sleep deprivation, mental exhaustion, screaming, chasing, rescuing, and ninja skill learning going on, you’ll probably adopt a pretty relaxed and comfy clothes style for your day to day activities.  But sometimes, you just want to put on some jeans and wear a little mascara.  You know, like you used to wear everyday?!

This is where having talking kids is fun because apparently…

Jeans mean you are going somewhere

“Yay!  Where are we going Mommy!?”  “-Erm, we’re not.”  Yup.  Every time I just want to get dressed like a normal person and look nice for my husband that day, my toddlers gets uber excited and do a happy dance because they think we are going somewhere.  Sorry kiddos, I have no intentions of going out, I just wanted to look decent, for once.

But that’s not even the best part-  You know it’s bad when your Husband comes home from work and says to you “Man Babe, you look good today!”

(Me: Looks down to see what I’m wearing. “Oh, you mean the sweatpants I put on instead of staying in my PJ’s all day long?”)

“Um, Thanks?”

(Ugh)

This is when I realized that I am now the complete epitome of a Mom.

And you know what?

I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Being a Mother has completely changed me.  My mind, my house, my sanity, my wardrobe, but most of all my heart.

It has changed me for the better.  I now know a love so deep, I don’t possess the vocabulary to explain how it feels.  It’s something that must only be deeply felt.

It’s a deep love that sings Baby Beluga 10 thousand times in a row.  It’s a deep love that reads the same book over and over and over.  It’s a deep love that makes you be goofy to the point of looking completely ridiculous but simply not caring because all you want to see are those beautiful, cheeky little smiles and to hear the best laughs on Earth!

It’s that deep love when you are so tired and just want to go to bed, that all of a sudden when you hear that sweet little voice say “just one more kiss!” your heart completely bursts and you wonder why you ever wanted to go to bed in the first place?!  Give me all the kisses!!!

You’ll learn exactly what the quote from Elizabeth Stone means when she says “Your heart will forever be walking outside of your body.”

Perhaps though, the most amazing thing I didn’t know I was in for, was that I would gain a deeper understanding and closeness with my Heavenly Father.

Becoming a Mother has given me  just a glimpse of how much God must love me in order to give up his only son to die for the forgiveness of my sins.  I can’t imagine giving up my children for anyone or anything, and yet that is exactly what He did for me.

How absolutely amazing is that?!

I now look at God’s word and all of the lessons to be learned in a whole new light.  I understand more fully why he does what he does if and when he needs to discipline us.  I understand the need and importance to do the same for my children.

I am thankful for the love and forgiveness he gives me after I have wronged him and how he welcomes me back with arms open wide, just as I want to remember to do for my children.

Lessons that apply to my children I now realize also apply to myself in a deeper way in my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

So dear new Momma, know that motherhood will have it’s ups and downs.

One day you will be pulling your hair out, throwing the kids at your husband the second he walks in the door, adamantly declaring you are forever done bearing his children!

Come the next sunrise they will be complete perfect little angels and you will find yourself begging him for just one more!  😉

. . .

Motherhood is full of change.

While change is not always easy, without it, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to experience incredible growth, amazing adventures, and the indescribable love it all brings.

. . .

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
    the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
    are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
    who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
    when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127:3-5

. . .

Momma loves you sweet baby girls!  I am so incredibly blessed that God gave me you!

2 Comments

  1. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more till I leaked because things are still way too loose down in the nether regions for my taste! Every word 100% true! Thank you for sharing this!!

    1. Haha aww thank you so much! You made my day, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! It’s good to know another Momma knows exactly what I mean! 🙂

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